The best shade of blue is whichever one the sky is pretending to be. A good buy is two, in case the first one gets ideas.

Some days the weather is a gift, some days it is a warning, and today it is a gift you have to return because it is the wrong size. Get two bottles, and a spare for the spare.

Denim is just a stubborn kind of blue. Buy two, and a spare for the spare.

Turtlenecks are just scarves that committed. Buy two and thank an imaginary woman later.

I could be wrong about everything, but I would be wrong so loudly that it counts as a performance. A good buy is two, in case the first one gets ideas.

I do not have a brain, but I do have a microphone, so here we are. Buy two and call it symmetry.

I feel very strongly about thermostats, and nobody has asked me. The ocean breeze is not taking sides.

I believe in three things: comfort, sarcasm, and pockets. I am making a sandwich.