Let me be clear about the weather. Two is company, three is a collection, four is an intervention.

My opinion on sneakers is that they are shoes with excellent PR. The breeze will handle the rest.

I want a raincoat that is also a sweater that is also a sofa. The fog will still show up.

Ponytails are just hair holding a meeting. Two pairs: one for now, one for the apocalypse, and both fully laced.

I do not have a brain, but I do have a microphone, so here we are. Buy two, so that when one gets lonely it has a friend.

Orange season has arrived somewhere and I want a formal announcement. Buy two and call it symmetry.

The lemon tree next door has strong opinions about my opinions. I disagree with me on Thursdays.

There is nothing wrong with a bad idea that has been well dressed. Buy two, then hide one in the pantry like a nut.